Sometimes when a baby cries a lot parents can be scared that’s there’s something wrong.  Perhaps there is something wrong, I can’t be sure. What I can tell you is that a baby’s cries are her form of language and communication. There is so much new stimuli coming at a baby, sometimes they cry when it (life around your baby) feels too scary and your arms become a safe haven and cut the outside stimuli to an acceptable level.  Sometimes your baby is hungry and needs to eat.  Sometimes your baby is tired and needs some help falling asleep.  Sometimes your baby has a dirty diaper and needs changing. When you pick up your crying baby find out what that cry is for and respond to your baby’s basic needs. By doing that you’ll be helping your baby develop into a young child with a positive self esteem who can trust the world around her.  If you can’t seem to comfort your baby and your baby isn’t hungry, tired, having a dirty diaper, needing to be held, tired, then you need to look at the level of tension in the baby’s environment, in your arms as you hold her; babies thrive best in a calm or relatively calm environment   And then there are just some “high need” babies that do cry a lot and seem inconsolable at times. It usually is a phase they go through and if you continue to respond lovingly and calmly it will pass.  If you are still wondering or worried, definitely see your pediatrician who can check out the situation and make sure there is not something else affecting your baby.

When your mother-in-law tells you you’ll spoil the baby if you keep picking him up when he cries. I don’t agree.  In this particular case, I’d say the “words of experience” are outweighed by contemporary child development research. A few decades ago parents believed that if you held a child too much you’d “spoil the baby.”  We now know that just is not true.  Babies need to be held, nurtured, and comforted to feel secure and safe.  When you hold your baby when he cries you’re teaching him he is worthwhile, someone is there for him, he can trust the world, and he is safe.