I’ve been writing quite a bit lately about little ones: babies and toddlers…for me it feels like yesterday when I had a baby and a toddler, but it’s quite a few years ago.  The joy of having been present for so many special little moments with my child is burned into my brain and I enjoy remembering them. I’m at a different stage in parenting now. It’s another precious stage (as they all have been….) My son is a senior in High School.  Our full time mother-son relationship is in its last few months so sometimes our time together feels particularly poignant.

Today I came home, looked through the mail, and there was an envelope from a University that clearly stated on the outside that he had been accepted and the school was welcoming him. He has already accepted someplace else but it was still wonderful to see his hard work pay off.  So far he has heard from 4 schools he applied to and he has made all 4.  I called his cell phone. He was with friends.  He paused in his time with them and we shared a few congratulatory and fun thoughts about him making this school.  Then it was time to let him to go back to his friends and continue with my evening…  The nicest part was, we had connected.  It can be those important few moments of true connection – talking, sharing, listening to each other, and respecting each others limits that make life worthwhile if you ask me.

New parents often go through a disappointing time after the initial glow post birth passes.  This is actually more common than you might think.  When each parent wants to be “right” and “know the answer,” with a new baby, there can be power struggles between them. It helps if you both take a deep breath, remember that you love and respect each other, and then sit down, when neither one of you is exhausted and talk about what each of you thinks and why. Listen with the intent of learning from each other and sharing information not with the intent of winning and being right.  Have some favorite parenting books you both read or one reads key paragraphs to the other. Discuss the author’s insights.  Come up with a parenting philosophy that you can both live with and that respects both your positions.  Got the Baby Where’s the Manual?!? has a chapter on making this transition from couple to family and the pitfalls to avoid.  The key is getting off your “position,” both of you, and being willing to really listen and try each other’s ideas and see how they affect your baby.